Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
