I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Randomize
