It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
