well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
