I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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