What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
