Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
