fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
