We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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