I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
