Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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