so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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