The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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