I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
