You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
