come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
