My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
