At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
