Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
