dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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