i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
