I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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