i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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