Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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