My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
