oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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