my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
