Only a mothe r could love this liver
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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