He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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