My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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