stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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