I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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