Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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