How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
