Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
