Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
