is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
