Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
