I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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