You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
