I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
