I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
