I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
