Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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