I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
