We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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