i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
