saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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