Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
