Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
