So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My penis needs a shock collar
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
