She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
