He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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