I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
